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No, really, there's some mud there or something. Worst trail ever.Īh, yes, the image that continues to haunt any gamer between the ages of 25 and 45.
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Three days in, and there's already hardship. It's dark, and we're not wearing sunglasses (because they haven't been invented yet).
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It's 102 miles to the Kansas River crossing and we have a full wagon with oxen and a bunch of spare parts. Say goodbye to Independence, Missouri, everyone! Also, somebody please snag Davy Crockett some clothes. That's pretty much true of my life, no matter what I'm doing. "You'll need flour, sugar, bacon and coffee," the general-store owner says. With my $400, I bought four pairs of oxen, eight sets of clothes (I requested Armani, only to be met with blank stares), 20 boxes of bullets for hunting, a bunch of spare parts and 150 pounds of food, leaving me with $30 to spare. To shatter my nerves, I've named the members of my traveling party Matt, Savannah, Al and Natalie - you know, completely random names for characters whose safety in a video game has no bearing on my current and future employment. To raise the stakes (and the point values), I've decided to play as a farmer from Illinois. Spotify didn't exist in the early '90s, kids. In retrospect, "Turn sound off" would have been a great idea before sojourning west, as my ears would bleed from the cacophony of chirps at each checkpoint. It begins! Sure, I could "learn about the trail," but that would be educational. And thanks to a assignment to verify if the free "Oregon Trail" download is the real deal - it is, and my computer shows no signs of dysentery - I also got the chance to see if I finally have what it takes to make it to Oregon.